How to set healthy boundaries with yourself in the music industry
Working in the music industry and creating boundaries can be extremely difficult. Especially if you're self-employed– you're your own boss. But knowing how to set boundaries is highly beneficial for your well-being, your connections and your success in the music industry.
In this blog post we explore exactly what boundaries are and how music industry professionals can benefit from implementing them so you can practice self-agency, self-love and build your career with confidence.
What are boundaries?
We take ourselves with us wherever we go - including our attitudes and behaviors. How we do one thing tends to be how we do (almost) everything. Of course we all take on different roles - that of partner, parent, child, colleague and so on. However, at our core, we hold certain perspectives that won’t drastically change just because you go from working at your day job to blowing off steam in nightlife. Unless you’re leading a double life or have a personality disorder, generally speaking, we don’t just flick a switch on who we are.
Healthy boundaries are the emotional, physical, and mental limits we set for ourselves and communicate to others. They define our personal space, values, and priorities.
Boundaries are guidelines we set in place for ourselves that provide clarity as to what our needs are, recognise our stewardship over our most precious resources - the most important one being time, and that indicate what type of treatment we are willing to accept or choose not to tolerate from others.
Picture them as the guardrails on the highway of life, guiding us along a path that respects our needs, desires, and limits.
Boundaries are about our own behavior, not that of someone else. We can not control other people’s behaviors, nor should we try to. Because as human beings we are in relationship with evolution, we shift, grow and evolve, and so do our boundaries. This means healthy boundaries are flexible so we can adapt them to any situation, life area and season of life.
In essence, healthy boundaries help us distinguish between our responsibilities and those of others, preventing feelings of overwhelm and burnout. They also safeguard our self-esteem and promote authentic connections by fostering open communication and mutual respect.
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Why is setting boundaries important?
Setting boundaries is an act of self-love and self-respect. It empowers us to prioritize our needs and stand firm in our values, fostering a sense of autonomy and personal agency.
They are meant to set the stage for mutual respect and understanding, ensuring that both parties feel heard and valued.
By clearly defining what is acceptable and unacceptable in our lives, we reduce the risk of stress, anxiety, and emotional exhaustion.
3 things boundaries help you do in the music industry
The music industry is an easy place to overstep boundaries - your own and those of others. It’s good to have an understanding of the benefits of setting boundaries in the music industry specifically.
Prioritizing workload so you can have the freedom to create the peace, calm and stability you need in order for your creativity to flow.
Saying no to overwhelming opportunities so you can have the energy to ask for support when you need it.
Distinguishing what truly matters so you can have the time to to move the needle forward towards sustainable success in music - without burning out or feeling as if someone’s suddenly going to pull the rug from under you.
“When you say ‘yes’ to others, make sure you’re not saying ‘no’ to yourself.”
How to set healthy boundaries with yourself in the music industry
Healthy boundaries serve as the invisible framework that defines the limits of acceptable behavior and interaction between individuals. Understanding how to establish and maintain these boundaries is crucial for fostering well-being and nurturing positive connections, collaborations and relationships.
Reflect on your values
Begin by reflecting on your values, needs, and emotional well-being. What makes you feel comfortable, respected, and fulfilled? Understanding yourself is the first step toward setting boundaries that align with your authentic self.
Clearly communicate your boundaries
Clear communication of your boundaries requires assertiveness and a sense of self-worth. Use “I” statements to express your feelings and needs without pointing fingers.
For example, say, "I need some alone time after work to recharge" instead of "You never give me space."
And be consistent with your boundaries and reinforcing them. That way it’s clear for others that your limits are non-negotiable.
Learn to say no
Saying no is not impolite. People still tend to see it that way but it really isn’t. And you don’t have to explain your no either. You don’t have to explain yourself ever, period. Unless you truly want to, then do so from a space of neutrality rather than people pleasing and thinking it’s your responsibility to make other people feel good about your decisions and choices.
It's okay to decline invitations, requests, or responsibilities that don't align with your priorities or well-being. Saying no is a positive affirmation of your values and limits.
Think of it this way, when you say yes to something or someone, do you begin to (over)explain yourself? Probably not.
No is a full sentence, difficult as it is. Remember we’ve been taught and conditioned that saying no is rude, especially as women. It might take a lot of deconditioning to get comfortable with saying no. And being ok with people no longer liking you because of it.
How to stick to your boundaries
There is often a fear of missing out when it comes to setting boundaries in the music industry. This fast-paced, highly competitive environment can often leave you feeling like you constantly have to be on and there is always someone around the corner waiting to jump in. This can make sticking to your boundaries extra challenging.
Regularly check in with yourself to assess your emotional and mental state
Are your boundaries still serving you well, or do they need adjustment? Remember that boundaries are flexible and adaptable. Self-awareness is crucial for maintaining boundaries that adapt to your evolving needs.
Prioritize self-care
Prioritising looking after yourself helps you to ensure you have the emotional and physical energy needed to maintain your boundaries. Taking care of yourself reinforces the importance of your well-being and sets an example for others to respect your limits. And may inspire them to do the same.
Surround yourself with individuals who respect and understand the importance of healthy boundaries
Share your experiences and challenges with setting and maintaining boundaries, and seek support from those who encourage your personal growth. This might also be a beautiful invitation for you to consider who you surround yourself with.
Reassess and adjust accordingly
Life is dynamic, and so are your needs. Periodically reassess your boundaries to ensure they align with your current circumstances and aspirations. Adjust them as needed to maintain a healthy balance in your life.
Setting and maintaining healthy boundaries is an ongoing journey of self-discovery and empowerment. By clearly defining and communicating our limits, we create a foundation for positive relationships, enhanced well-being, a life that aligns with our values, and a way to create sustainable success within the music industry by focusing only on what moves the needle forward.
How do you practice setting healthy boundaries with yourself in the music industry? Comment below!
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