Stop Sober Shaming In The Music Industry
Matthew Reyes, Unsplash
Creating sustainable success in the music industry
The music industry has long been intertwined with a culture of excess. From partying hard and hedonism in club culture, to DJs battling addiction, the narrative of "sex, drugs, and rock and roll" has persisted for decades. The glorification of substance (ab)use is ingrained in the DNA of the music industry at large. In recent years, a quiet sober revolution has been brewing. A new wave of artists and music industry professionals is challenging the stereotype. More and more people are choosing to prioritize their health and well-being over the self-destructive tendencies often associated with their profession. However, they are facing a surprising hurdle: sober shaming.
Sober shaming occurs when someone is ridiculed or ostracized for choosing not to drink or use drugs. In the music industry, this can manifest in several ways. Musicians who are open about their sobriety might be seen as less edgy, creative or authentic. Bandmates or crew members might pressure them to partake in the post-show "celebration." Even fans can make snide remarks. And lots of people wonder, isn’t the best music created out of this suffering, this "rock and roll lifestyle?"
Why Sober Shaming In The Music Industry Is Problematic
Sober shaming is problematic for several reasons. First, it perpetuates the misguided notion that creativity and substance use and abuse are linked. Countless artists have produced phenomenal work and have achieved sustainable success in the music industry while sober or being more mindful about substances. From Moby, Chris Lake, DJ Rebekah to Billie Eilish, sobriety doesn't diminish artistic expression. In fact, for some, it can even enhance focus and clarity.
Secondly, sober shaming disregards the very real dangers of addiction and health risks that come with substance use. The music industry can be a pressure cooker, with demanding schedules, intense travel, and constant scrutiny. Turning to substances to cope is a well-worn path, often leading to devastating consequences. Music industry professionals who choose sobriety are making a positive decision for their health and well-being, a choice that deserves respect, not ridicule. Bear in mind that sobriety is not about being anti-alcohol or drugs and that this is a deeply personal decision. It’s not about you. It’s about me.
There's also a financial and business argument to be made. Musicians who are sober are more likely to be more reliable, focused, present and responsible. Instead of tapping out due to a hangover or high, they show up for gigs on time, remember their setlists, and deliver powerful performances. Performances they’ll remember and be able to learn from so they can finetune it for next time. All of this is crucial in a competitive industry where reputation is everything, especially if you want to build sustainable success both as an artist and any other role involving artists like tour management, artist management, venue promotion and so on. Having a network of professionals who are reliable, dependable and committed goes a long way.
And lastly, think about your legacy. What is the mark you want to make on this industry? What wisdom do you want to pass on to young professionals entering the scene? For those of us who’ve been around a few decades, I strongly believe we have an educational role to play as well as being a role model for younger generations. I am pro passing on generational strengths and helping others to be aware of the choices and decisions they make for their health, wellness and mental well-being. I don’t subscribe to a toxic hustle culture and peer pressure nor do I accept the “this is how it’s done/always been” mentality. I want to promote acceptance, freedom of choice and new, innovative ways of creating sustainable success in the music industry.
Why People Sober Shame
There are a few reasons why people in the music industry might engage in sober shaming. Sober shaming often stems from a few deeply ingrained misconceptions.
One reason is a sense of insecurity. The music industry can be incredibly competitive, and some people might feel threatened by a sober colleague. If someone is excelling without relying on the same crutches, it can force others to confront their own relationship with substances. This insecurity can manifest as teasing or dismissive comments about someone's sobriety.
Another reason is simply a lack of awareness. The culture of excess has been so ingrained in the music industry for so long that some people might not even realize they're being disrespectful. They might see pressuring a drink as harmless fun or friendly bonding, not understanding the potential consequences for someone in recovery. Education and open conversations about addiction and sobriety can help to break down these barriers and create a more supportive environment.
Then there is the belief that creativity is fueled by substances. While some artists might have used substances in the past to cope with stage fright or tap into a certain energy, this doesn't hold true for everyone. Many artists find their greatest creativity and focus when their state is unaltered by substances. This romanticization of addiction overlooks the reality: substance abuse often leads to a decline in artistic ability and a shortened career.
Another misconception is that sobriety equals a lack of fun. Live music and partying often go hand-in-hand, but that doesn't mean a sober person can't enjoy a concert, a sober musician doesn’t find pleasure in their performance or a music industry professional can’t build meaningful connections.
Another factor is the pressure to maintain a certain image. The music industry thrives on creating personas and cultivating a specific "brand." For some, the perception of excess fuels the image. There's a fear that sobriety might make someone look less edgy or rebellious.
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Examples of sober shaming (I’ve personally experienced):
“It’s just a phase” after a few years became “when are you going to stop this and start drinking again?”
“Never? Nothing? Not a drop?”
“Oh, you’re no fun!”
“Why? Do you have a problem with alcohol?”
And the well-known cliché… “Are you pregnant?”
This is a comment many women get when they open up about sobriety or turn down alcohol. I’ve personally received this reaction from strangers, acquaintances and even close friends, especially in the early days of my sobriety.
Despite the fact that both my partner and I have been very vocal about not wanting children, this was usually the first thing even our closest friends would ask me. After about 9 months, they’d given up on that one ;)
Suffice to say that this is harmful and incredibly insensitive: what if we weren’t so vocal about our wish to remain childless but instead were having fertility issues? Or some other health reason why we weren’t having kids?
In the end, every comment - unintentional, unaware, or uneducated, comes down to a lack of respect and completely disregards a person’s privacy. Sobriety is a deeply personal, intimate choice and doesn’t have anything to do with you and everything to do with me. My lifestyle, my health, my body. I don’t need to be called out about any of that.
Dismantling Sober Shaming And Advocating For Sober Support In The Music Industry
The tide is slowly turning. There are organizations and individuals that are working to change the conversation around substance use, misuse, abuse and addiction in the music industry. They advocate for sober support options for touring musicians and crew, while simultaneously promoting the idea that sobriety and sustainable success in the music industry can go hand-in-hand.
High-profile artists are also breaking the mold. By being open about their own journeys with sobriety, they inspire others and normalize the choice to live a substance-free life.
So what can be done to further dismantle sober shaming? Here are a few steps:
Musicians: Be vocal about your sobriety. Share your story openly, whether it's through interviews, social media, or even your music. Your honesty can empower others and help shift the narrative.
Fans: Be supportive. Celebrate artists for their talent, not their drinking habits.
Industry professionals: Create sober-friendly environments. Offer non-alcoholic drink options at events and respect musicians' boundaries.
Ultimately, a more inclusive and supportive music industry benefits everyone. By letting go of outdated stereotypes and embracing the diverse realities of artists and other music professionals, we can create a space where creativity flourishes, regardless of what's in the glass.
“I am pro passing on generational strengths and helping others to be aware of the choices and decisions they make for their health, wellness and mental well-being. ”
Promoting A Culture Of Acceptance
Here are some ways to combat sober shaming, promote a culture of acceptance and create a more inclusive industry:
Normalize sobriety. By celebrating stories of sober people in the music industry who are open about their recovery journeys, we can challenge the stereotype that you have to drink or use drugs to be social, build a network and achieve success in the music industry.
Celebrate Sober Musicians: Actively highlight the success stories of sober artists. Show young musicians and music industry professionals that a fulfilling career is possible without relying on substances. Instead of focusing on partying and excess, let's celebrate the dedication, talent, and passion of musicians, regardless of their personal choices.
Shift the Narrative: Move away from the "tortured artist" perspective. Promote the message that creativity and inspiration can thrive alongside a healthy lifestyle, without having to resort to substances to numb, sedate, cope, have fun or get inspired.
Create Sober Spaces: Music venues and festivals can offer alcohol-free zones or designated sober areas where people can enjoy music without feeling pressured to drink.
Offer sober alternatives. Music venues and festivals can offer a wider range of beverages beyond alcohol, as well as designated sober spaces where people can relax and socialize without feeling pressured to drink.
Support Recovery Resources: Make information about addiction and recovery readily available to musicians and industry professionals.
Educate fans and patrons. Spreading awareness about the benefits of sobriety and the prevalence of addiction in the music industry can help to create more understanding and supportive environments.
Breaking free from the knee-jerk reactions and subconscious habits of sober shaming requires a multi-pronged approach. Music industry professionals need to feel empowered to make choices about their health without fear of judgment. The industry needs to recognize the value of a sober workforce and create a supportive environment.
Ultimately, a shift in cultural and societal perception is crucial. Sobriety shouldn't be seen as a weakness, but as a choice that allows people to reach their full potential. The music industry thrives on creativity and passion, not self-destruction. By embracing the power of a healthy lifestyle, the industry can create a brighter future for music industry professionals looking to create sustainable success.
Note: if you or someone you know struggles with substances, please know that help is available and you’re not alone in this!
What are your favourite ways to support other music industry professionals in their sobriety? Comment below!
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