The alcohol guilt trip every party lover eventually faces and how to avoid it
Picture this: You’ve been out playing a DJ set or hitting the dance floor on Saturday until the early morning, happily boozing. You got about 3 hours of sleep and then off to that birthday brunch your best friend was throwing, where you started drinking again, because, A. it wakes you up and B. You want to enjoy your social life with your friends too. Besides, it’s brunch!
Then comes Monday, and whoomp there it is: Hangxiety, Beer Fear or Booze Blues. The guilt you feel after drinking alcohol or after a big party weekend. You look frazzled, you feel down, you’re troubled with guilt about what may have happened and whether or not you’re wrecking your body. You swear you’ll never drink again! Yeah right...
“Could it be I had too much to drink?”: Feeling guilty after drinking
Have you ever struggled with a guilt trip after drinking? I bet you have. If the answer is no, then you’ve either chosen the sober lifestyle or you’re a big fat liar. You may not realize it or want to admit it, but your party lifestyle won’t be free of the alcohol guilt trip. At some point fear, shame spiraling, self-loathing or regret will come knocking.
There are always be consequences you’ll be dealing with after drinking alcohol
Your decision to drink affects you in more ways than one. You know you can’t drink and drive so you’ll either need to ask someone to give you a ride or grab a cab. Having to try and get a cab or an Uber isn’t always easy or even possible. It takes a bite out of your budget, not to mention the amount of money you spent on drinks for yourself and others. Money that could have been spent on a nice shopping trip or a family meal. Clearly things you hadn’t thought about beforehand. If you did, you wouldn’t have drunk at all.
Plus, dealing with the hangxiety and losing time because of it. Time you could have spent on making music, reading a book or taking a course. When you’re even the slightest bit self-aware, you know you’re fully accountable for all of this, which makes you feel rather annoyed with yourself.
So what triggers you to drink, over and over again?
For some people, it feels like it’s almost on an automatic drive when it comes to social gatherings. The intention may have been to drive and not drink, however, a lot of your friends are all planning to have a few and then get a taxi home. Automatically, your habit is to join them.
Some of the most common triggers as described by my clients are often stress and overwhelm.
When your brain is triggered by a stressful time - like being nervous before playing a DJ set or familiar situation - like the smell of a bar and an outing with friends, it will associate alcohol with a positive experience, a moment of reward. It will send signals, or cravings to encourage similar behavior.
It’s not always just the environment or situation that’s triggering though. It could be a fluctuation in your blood sugar levels caused by something you ate. This can be mistaken for an alcohol craving.
Besides recognizing your triggers, you want to start looking at what’s beneath it.
That’s where you’ll uncover a treasure of information about yourself and why you keep falling back into the same patterns.
What are you trying to hide? What is it that you don’t want to face or what fears are you trying to numb?
You need to look inward and observe what is happening on an emotional level in order to understand your actions, and more importantly, to understand how to change them.
Meditation is a great tool to help you get started. Come home to yourself through my guided grounding meditation >>>
So what to do in order to move forward?
Time to recalibrate and keep in mind that this is a process you’ll need to work through every day. You’ll start seeing results only if you work on new thought patterns and implement different behaviors consistently and on a daily basis. Changes will come over time. And you can consider the below areas as a starting point for you to start on this amazing self-development journey.
Uncover your limiting beliefs so that you understand where your guilt is coming, ⠀
Reframe the negative stories you tell yourself so that you can feel good even after a big night out,⠀
Call out all of your bullshit excuses so that you can finally start being accountable for your actions and feel empowered,⠀
Learn how to enjoy your lifestyle so that you don’t wreck your mind, body, and soul. ⠀
Let’s discuss what this could look like for you!
Raving and behaving is a thing. I can teach you how to find that balance.
Enjoy the party sober
Alcohol is a socially accepted hard drug in Western culture. Abuse of it is easily condoned and sometimes even applauded. In nightlife, music and alcohol are seemingly inseparable and not drinking on a night out makes you the odd one out. It almost seems unthinkable to go into a rave sober.
If these DJs can do it, so can you!
In an interview with Mixmag, Paris-based DJ Louisahhh said: “I’ve found it really helpful to be aware of what my purpose is in going out; if it’s to live vicariously through people who are fucked up, or to mourn the fact that I’ve lost the ability to drink and use safely, I should probably sit that night out. If my goal in going is to spread joy, to connect and be of service, to celebrate being alive, I can safely go anywhere in the world.”
When asked by Thump if it’s challenging to his sobriety being in environments that are so heavily influenced by alcohol/drug use, Moby said: “In the early part of the night when everyone's on their second drink, sometimes. But by the end of the night when everyone's feral and on their 10th or 20th drink, sobriety seems like the best decision I've ever made.”
Treating it as a job adds to the benefits of sober DJing. This includes staying away from green rooms backstage and not getting to the club 3-4 hours before your DJ set just to get yourself in the mood. You'll be more likely to be tempted to start drinking to calm your nerves.
But alcohol can cause anxiety and so drinking is actually counter-productive.If you need a drink or two to calm your nerves behind the decks and stop your hands from shaking, which can be a major annoyance of course - operating knobs and whatnot. Or, if you’re an introvert and you think a couple of drinks will give you more confidence to actually cope with social interactions, just know that there’s a much better way for you to cope with those jitters. Meditation is a great solution to help ease anxiety in the DJ booth.
Now, I would love to hear from you!
What’s 1 thing that totally resonated with you and why? Share it in the comments below and let me know!