Detecting limiting beliefs that hold you back from thriving in nightlife
“I’m not good enough”. How many times have you said this in your lifetime - or some variant of it? There are certain things you tell yourself often on a daily basis, that hold you back from truly doing what you want - making a living in nightlife doing what you love.
You could also call them excuses, because, in the end, that’s what they are - excuses NOT to do something. Arguments for your self-imposed limitations and a fluff reason to let yourself off the hook easy. And you always end up being the wanker who complains about something that you actually had control over in the first place. Don’t be a wanker. Let’s break that vicious cycle.
What are limiting beliefs?
Limiting beliefs are stories we keep telling ourselves and the decisions we make based on those stories that limit the way we live.
Deep down you know there’s more you have to offer but it’s like an invisible force is stopping you from thriving in nightlife. That invisible force is probably you. And it goes a little something like this:
My music is not good enough.
I don’t have the right skills or material.
I see other DJs getting booked for that one festival I’ve aspired to play at, but I never get booked. I must not be good enough.
I don’t have enough time.
I lack credibility because I just started out.
My technical skills are not good enough, so my music isn’t ready for mastering yet.
I’m not doing enough to put myself out there.
It’s really hard to make money in this business.
It all comes down to the same thing: limitations. Limiting your thoughts prevents you from seeing possibilities, hold a space for your creativity to flow freely and daring greatly. There’s always someone else right behind you, seemingly aiming for that same dream and you’ll find yourself quickly distracted by trying to keep up and staying relevant.
Nightlife and the dance music industry as a whole is a competitive and high-pressured environment. There’s nothing admirable about keeping yourself small so that others wouldn’t feel uncomfortable around you. We stay hung up on our fear and when others see that, they unconsciously give themselves permission to stay afraid too. What if you could liberate yourself from your fear so that you can confidently reach for your goals knowing that in the process, your presence automatically might inspire others to the same? What if things work out?
In order for that to happen, you have got to change your narrative if you truly want to build a life around your passion in nightlife and make a living doing what you love.
The challenge with limiting beliefs is most of us don’t think we have them and they can be really hard to spot.
“Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right.”
How to detect your limiting beliefs and let go
Carve out 30 minutes to work on this and make sure you won’t be disturbed.
Grab a pen and paper, or open up a new document on your computer. I do suggest writing it down because it’ll help you to better eliminate other distractions - who doesn’t always have 356 tabs open? Where you put your focus is so important. So get intentional about digging deep and put pen to paper.
There’s actually research backing up why writing - rather than typing, enables focused action and higher levels of thinking. You can keep this piece of paper in a visible place and look at it every day. This, in turn, ensures you’re more likely to remember it because you’re looking at it repeatedly. This is common knowledge, we learn by repetition.
Dr. Gail Matthews, a Professor of Psychology at the Dominican University of California discovered this: we are 42% more likely to achieve our goals if we simply write them down. 42%! If that doesn’t convince you to start writing your shit down, I don’t know what will.
Need to clear your head before you start writing?
Grab a free copy of my guided meditation. It’s designed to help you stay grounded and focused, anytime, anywhere.
Steps to uncover your limiting beliefs and let them go
Step #1 - Make a list of the areas in your life where you feel challenged.
Consider the following areas: Work, relationships, health, family, finances, faith, the dance music industry and of course music and nightlife.
Step #2 - Make a list of the things that you find challenging in each area.
It’s time to uncover all the ways you’re bullshitting yourself. Once you’ve gotten honest about how flimsy your excuses really are, you’ll reclaim enormous amounts of energy and more importantly your POWER to make changes, now.
Here are a few examples:
I’m not good enough.
My technical skills aren’t good enough.
I can’t afford it.
I don’t have (enough) time.
I have too much to do.
I’m too old for this.
It’s not at the right level yet.
I should be happy to be given this opportunity.
I can’t complain.
Step #3 - Examine where your limiting beliefs are coming from.
What are the sources of your limiting beliefs? It may be something you heard your parents say all the time, or perhaps it’s an experience from your adulthood, something a friend told you and you believed it to be true, a bad experience that keeps you from stepping outside your comfort zone.
Consider the following areas:
Childhood experiences (things that happened in your childhood, school, …)
Family experiences (things you were told by your primary caregivers)
Historical/ancestral experiences (poverty, immigration, slavery, loss, family history)
Friendships (experiences with friends)
Cultural and gendered messages
Adulthood experiences
Relationships
Step #4 Observe your limiting beliefs and choose again.
It’s logical when you really think about it. At some point, you chose to let external sources and circumstances define your feelings. Making a choice is a decision, which means, you can make a new decision to choose again and this time, choose thoughts that will open up possibilities for you.
Have I told you yet not to be a wanker? To overcome these limiting decisions, you need to acknowledge that these are beliefs, not truths! Limiting beliefs start with a tiny mad idea and become the thing that you hold onto out of fear.
Lasting change starts internally, with things like energy, willpower, clarity, and passion; and as your internal resources start to grow, your external resources will naturally start to grow as well.
“Dreams come a size too big so we can grow into them.”
Step #5 - Dare to dream big!
Now that you have identified the thoughts, beliefs, and decisions that have held you back from truly building a life around your passion in the music industry, it’s time to dream big.
What would your life be like if you removed all limitations and doubt? What would go better in your life because of it? What would you be able to do, be or have more of? If all of these limiting stories and excuses weren’t an objection, what would you be doing to make a living in the dance music industry and how would you do it?
You were not put on this earth to play it small. Everyone who ever told you to “be realistic” can go fuck themselves. It’s not up to them, it’s up to you. This is your life, isn’t it? You are the creator of your reality. Use your imagination, create possibilities for yourself that will allow you to make the most of your time on this blue marble and live your life to the fullest.
Let’s talk!
What’s 1 limiting belief that’s holding you back and why? Share in the comments below and let’s call out the bullshit.